The Owl Turns Green!

Salutations, Green brothers! 

Eco-friendly!  Or just seasick?

 

In honor of the Paris Climate Pact, this blog has taken the leap.  Yes, from now on,  we will be environmentally responsible!  Ecologically sensitive!  Politically Correct!  Accordingly, radical new strategies have been enacted to spread Climate Change awareness and prevent further climate destruction as the result of reading this blog. 

 

First of all, we have to be on our guard against false or half-hearted commitment.  If you're not with the environment, you're against it!  All posers, deviants and heretics must be publicly renounced and exposed as the imposters they are. 

 

Clearly imposters.  No bear is that skinny.

 

And most importantly, we must not be afraid of positive action.  That's why this blog has taken the first step: transforming from the rigid and stress-inducing theme of printing paper, to the mellow, ethereal tones of Mother Nature.  The science is simple: harsh tones cause psychological stress; psychological stress causes physiological stress; physiological stress causes flatulence; flatulence releases methane and other greenhouse gasses; greenhouse gasses insulate the atmosphere; insulation causes warmer, more even temperatures; warm, even temperatures cause more evaporation and melting of glacial ice; evaporation and melting of glacial ice expose more land and cause more precipitation around the world, which converts deserts and brings water and life-giving CO2 everywhere, exponentially increasing crop growth and all flora-- 

Hmm... 

Which may not actually be a bad idea...

 

 

...But let's not think about it that hard.  Global Warming is a bad thing, and will result in this:

 

There, that's more like it.

 

So obviously, we have to do something about it!  Which is why we are committed to reducing human flatulence with our eco-friendly blog theme.  By the way, stop looking at that picture before you get stressed. 

 

Of course there are other factors causing climate change that the human family should work to solve, such as the number 1 source of methane gas on earth: cow belching.  Cow belching and flatulence together have been shown to produce far more methane than any other single source on the planet.  Belching is, oddly, the more significant problem.

 

 

 

That may be somewhat beyond our scope at present, since our top analysts have confirmed that cows seldom read this blog.  We did try a human-to-cow outreach session, but so far, this is the only response we've gotten:

 

 

Our bovine friends may be a little slow on the uptake.