Good joke... No?

Have you ever wondered if humans are descended from a pig-chimp hybrid? 
 

You people get the weirdest ideas.

For those who are unaware, the satirical netrag Rational Wiki has this to say about Poe's Law:

"Without a clear indication of the author's intent, it is difficult or impossible to tell the difference between an expression of sincere extremism and a parody of extremism." 

Now Rational Wiki  is generally a fine and hilarious example of this truth; though there are similar, but often better quality, humor outlets available for those who just want a laugh.  These include The Progressive, The New Republic, Utine Reader, Harper's Magazine, World Policy Journal, Washington Monthly, Rolling Stone, etc. 



Another satirical magazine

But of course, at the top of any humor list is... [insert drum roll]...  The one and only, To Kill a Polar Bear!  
 

Al Gore proudly endorses this blog

But let's get back on topic.  I've personally been aware for a good while that we human beings are a bit like pigs.  Seriously, there are some interesting similarities.  Yet I never imagined that any evolutionary geneticist would actually take the hint. 

 

Some (females?) find the connection obvious. 

 

Now it's right about here that Poe's Law comes into effect, because the actual claims really start to be indistinguishable from satire.  Buckle up for the ride... and try not to think too hard, or you might damage your mind. 

 

According to a July, 2013 article in Phys.org, http://phys.org/news/2013-07-chimp-pig-hybrid-humans.html, geneticist Eugene McCarthy describes a hereditary connection between humans and pigs.  He's gotten the idea peer-reviewed and everything!  After studying anatomical similarities between species, he decided that a pig-chimp hybrid could "explain" a lot of things.  For example, why are we comparatively hairless, and apes are not?  In fact, why is our skin structurally more similar to a pig's than an ape's? 

 

Simple: long, long ago, we had an odd pig ancestor.  You actually have the porcine line to thank for your pretty, soft skin, ladies.  



I'm beautiful because I'm pig.



Of course!



But it gets better.  Apparently, it was a daddy pig and a mommy chimp.  Our chimp ancestor was literally taken advantage of by a

MALE CHAUVINIST PIG!!!

 

Excuse me for a moment while I laugh like an idiot.

 

Everybody's laughing at me!

 

So apparently a demented pig mated with a chimp, which gave birth to a pim--  wow...  um...  chig.  Let's call it a chig.  After a perfectly healthy and normal childhood (doubtless), the chig probably got together with another chimp.  Though it could have ended up with a pig instead; but it probably wasn't lucky enough to find another chig, since chigs seem to be a rare occurrence in nature.  It's only the most daring pigs and chimps who ever try crossbreeding, apparently. 

 

Don't worry, Baby!  No one will ever know!

 

And that's where the human race comes from. 

 

Time for the button.

 

Of course there are some small discrepancies (such as the fact that chimps and pigs never do that sort of thing, and it wouldn't work anyways).  But who knows?  Maybe pigs and apes were more compatible a million years ago.  Our research will definitely give us further insights, and allow us to appreciate--

 

Now there's no need to be impulsive about it.  After all, it's a theory in progress.



 

All theories have problems.  It's not like any other theory is perfect, you know. 

They can be a lot more perfect than that.

 

But it's peer-reviewed and everything!  You'd be arrogant just to dismiss something out-of-hand when it's been peer-reviewed--



I'm not arrogant, I'm sane.


Look, just give it a chance!  I'm sure there's a way to make it sound more convincing...  We can do all kinds of research about how it could maybe just work...  Heck, if we try long enough, we can probably even conjure up fossils and stuff to support it!  And then you'll have to accept it! 


I value sanity more than that, sorry.

But theories can evolve and change!  Don't take it all so seriously right now!





No one should take it seriously.

Oh come ON!!!  It's JUST a THEORY!!! 

 

...No wait!  What did I say?!?

 

Oh well.  We all know that anything's better than Creationism. 



My finger's getting tired.

Goodnight.  :)